help but believe PDV is in a similar situation, desperate to avoid a career ending explosion he has to guess right. Who will he pick to produce a win against England and save his job?
Of course disabling a bomb is not as simple as following what the manual says there are a variety of permutations that could detonate the most carefully chosen bit of guesswork that we never see in the movies. For example:
- 1.The red wire isn't there.
- 2.All the wires are the same colour.
- 3.The hero is colour-blind.
- 4.The colour is one the cutter doesn't know: taupe, ochre, turquoise, umber, etc.
- 5.The guy reading from the manual says something like "It says to cut the blue wire.." * snip* ".. after cutting the red one.."
- 6.An expert arrives and simply flips the OFF switch on the bomb to deactivate it.
As the unlikely hero PDV sits down with his advisors Dick and Gary they will be faced with similar permutations and nerve wracking decisions and one has to suppose that a defeat to England would have to be the end of this coaching trio. The variations of problems that have caused this potential detonation appear to be so similar to the movies:
1. The red wire isn’t there: It is impossible to blame the fact that 13 regular players are not in the team due to injury. Why this is proliferated constantly by PDV as a reason for the below par performances is pointless and gives the impression that he already has in his mind that he is going to field a group of no hopers. The reason why some of the best players are not there is because they weren’t chosen in the first place. Cue in Andries Strauss.
2. All the wires are the same colour: There seems to be a tendency for Blue to be a favourite colour of PDV’s. Kirchner should not be allowed on a rugby field but he doesn’t get cut because he is Blue. Stegmann can’t get cut, neither can Hougaard they are all Blue. The tin snips seem too blunt to sever these out of form Blue Bull connections to the team.
3. The hero is colourblind: Black and White, Blue and White and Orange looks like Blue. Only the coach knows why Alberts has to play second fiddle to Stegmann every week. It seems obvious that a player like Keegan Daniel was selected to appease the masses and there was no intention to ever use the player.
4. The colour is one the cutter doesn’t know: Promising to play more expansive rugby but the coach doesn’t know how to coach that. One dimensional, outdated and conservative is the only method known.
5. Cut the blue wire “snip” after cutting the red one: Indecision has lead to more problems on the field than anything else. The timing of the subs for example is a lottery that has led to more heart palpitations than we can care to think about. Second guessing and poor judgement of the conditions and how to play are so often the problem with the Springbok play.
6. An expert arrives and deactivates: In this case only an explosion is going to warrant an expert being called in to build up the shattered remains. If the big bang does happens who will be the next expert?
As Saturday slowly approaches the nation’s hopes will once again rest uneasily in the hands of the Springbok coaches. It is not a job for just any old Piet, Dick and Gary, it is a job that requires honesty and the ability to make big and difficult decisions. The bomb is ticking...will PDV produce a new Big Bang Theory?
